Monster Island (actually a peninsula)*: I just realized iPhone and iPorn would sound the same in Korean

Monday, July 20, 2009

I just realized iPhone and iPorn would sound the same in Korean

And that would be 아이폰. Except that some Koreans would make it all Konglishy and call it 아이포르노. [Note to Monster Island readers who come here for English enhancement: porn, which is short for pornography, refers to materials as a group which containing explicit descriptions or displays of sexual organs or activity, where as porno usually refers to a single movie that is pornographic.]

At any rate, Time has noted that the pure raw power and speed of the new iPhone 3Gs — the S for speed — means that it will be easier and more convenient to download and view pornography. And with video function, to make pornography.

Apple says that more than 250,000 programming kits have been downloaded, enabling programmers to create their own iPhone applications, like games or chat services. Just as users have unlocked iPhones for use around the world, some may eventually figure out how to surreptitiously create and distribute iPhone porn applications. (See 25 must-have travel gadgets.)

Sensing the start of a profitable new era for pocket porn, the adult entertainment industry is investing heavily and feverishly broadening its marketplace of iPhone porn. The industry sees the iPhone 2.0 as having multiple advantages over the first model. For one thing, Apple's new gadget is nearly twice as fast as its predecessor at loading Web pages, and even faster at running video, which is crucial for the porn industry. About a third of iPhone users watch video on their phone, according to Nielsen Mobile, which is nearly 10 times the number that watch video on other cell phones. Three out of four iPhone users are men with above-average incomes, and iPhone users spend heavily on entertainment. More than a third of iPhone users shell out more than $100 on phone and data charges every month, as compared with just one-fifth of other cell-phone users.

Furthermore, the new model will be available in at least 75 countries, enabling content providers to reach new mobile porn viewers all around the world.

I'm not quite sure why portable porn (pornable™) would be in such high demand, but then again, I never predicted the booming popularity of MILFs or midgets.

I suppose this is as good a time as any to remind people to be very careful about any naughty videos or pictures you might take in private, including on your video-equipped iPhone 3Gs — the S for sexy.

[left: Coming soon to the iTouch... er... iPod Touch.]

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8 comments:

Daniel GrayMonday, July 20, 2009 6:46:00 PM

Haha that's probably what it would be used for. I bet u they ll do room salon ads on them as well.
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JSMonday, July 20, 2009 8:21:00 PM

It reminds me of people who didn't wan't Internet access on airplanes because they were afraid they'd get stuck next to someone watching porn. o_O
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ShinboneMonday, July 20, 2009 9:20:00 PM

they sell porno magazines at the airport anyway, yo. someone MUST be buying them...
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dokebiTuesday, July 21, 2009 3:07:00 AM

ur quite ingenuous

maybe that's why u dont see many iPhones around in Korea
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kushiboTuesday, July 21, 2009 9:46:00 AM

JS, I had not heard that as a reason for not having Internet access on planes, but I guess it does make sense.

If one gets into the "Mile High Club" by oneself, is it only the "Half Mile High Club"?
ReplyDelete
kushiboTuesday, July 21, 2009 9:47:00 AM

Shinbone wrote:
they sell porno magazines at the airport anyway,

They do? Where?

yo. someone MUST be buying them...

Must be Blackberry users.
ReplyDelete
kushiboTuesday, July 21, 2009 9:47:00 AM

I think I've been inspired by all these comments to start a website where people upload the porn they've made on their iPhone.
ReplyDelete
ShinboneTuesday, July 21, 2009 10:04:00 AM

in airports all over canada- vancouver, calgary, winnipeg, toronto. i've definitely seen the porno magazines that come sealed in bags stuck in there at the top of the shelf.

it's enough of a phenomenon david cross used to have a routine about it. 'hope nobody's sitting next to me on the airplane because they're in for a rude awakening...'
ReplyDelete

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Ask Kushibo.

My sitemeter.com data shows that a lot of the 1000 or so people a week who land on my site are looking for cultural information on Korea (e.g., "When did Syngman Rhee die?" "What did the Indians bring to the first Chusok?" etc., etc.), as well as practical or historical stuff.

That got me thinking that, hey, I have a master's degree in Korean studies and a minor in Japanese studies, I've lived in Seoul far longer than most foreans my age (whether they're kyopo or non-kyopo), I teach introductory courses on Korea and its cultural trappings and history, so why not offer a free service where I attempt to answer people's questions, point them in the direction of where they can get them answered, and/or offer my regulars (that's you!) a chance to take a stab at some of this stuff, too.

So if there's something you'd like to know from a "contrarian scourge," click on ASK KUSHIBO and just ask a succinct question in the comments section below.

Oh, and play nice. Please don't make me regret this.

九十五大怪獣란? 쿠시보의 몬스터 아일랜드란?

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun...
Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans" ("foreigners" in Korea be they kyopo or non-kyopo), Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County, and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

* Monster Island (actually a peninsula)

The name of this blog comes from a line in "Lisa on Ice," a beloved episode of The Simpsons, perhaps my all-time favorite television show (even though for several seasons there, it really did suck). Lisa is imagining being sworn in as president, but at the last minute, it is discovered that she failed P.E. (physical education) and she is thus "sentenced to a lifetime of horror" on Monster Island. "Don't worry," the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court confides in her, "It's just a name."

Fast forward to Lisa and other prisoners running in panic through a tropical jungle, chased by Godzilla-like creatures, including a monster turtle and a monster firefly.

"He said it was just a name!" Lisa screams to the man next to her. While he, too, runs for his life, the unidentified man calmly says, "What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula."

Anyway, I thought in some ways that punchline summed up modern-day Korea in a nutshell. For many people—foreigners and Koreans—the ups and downs and everyday travails of the Republic of Korea make it as precarious as a Monster Island would be (and with the DMZ being the only land border, it really is like an island). But it actually is a peninsula. Okay, it made sense in my head.

So as you can see, despite the hits I get from people looking for Japanese tentacle porn, it has nothing to do with anything salacious as that.